{"product_id":"mortgage-but-make-it-cute-candle-funny-85746","title":"Mortgage, But Make It Cute Candle, Funny First Home Gift for New Homeowners","description":"\u003cp\u003eMortgage, But Make It Cute is a funny housewarming candle for the new homeowner who is somehow broke, proud, stressed, and decorating anyway. It is a perfect first home gift, realtor closing gift, or cute but sarcastic candle for anyone celebrating a new house, a new mortgage, and the illusion of having everything under control.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🧼 Product Specs\u003cbr\u003e\n• Sizes:\u003cbr\u003e\n – 4 oz (25–30 hour burn)\u003cbr\u003e\n – 9 oz (40–60 hour burn)\u003cbr\u003e\n – 13.75 oz (60–80 hour burn)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• Containers:\u003cbr\u003e\n – 4 oz \u0026amp; 9 oz: Amber glass jar with black metal lid\u003cbr\u003e\n – 13.75 oz: Clear open-top glass jar, no lid—because big vibes need room to breathe\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• Wax: 100% natural soy wax\u003cbr\u003e\n• Wick: Cotton, lead\/zinc-free\u003cbr\u003e\n• Hand-poured in small batches\u003cbr\u003e\n• Clean burning, phthalate-free fragrance oils\u003cbr\u003e\n• Vegan and cruelty-free\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🕯️ Scent Options\u003cbr\u003e\n• Apple Harvest: ripe apple, cinnamon, and a hint of clove—basically fall in a jar, minus the overpriced orchard trip\u003cbr\u003e\n• Clean Cotton: crisp linen, lemon, and cotton blossom—like fresh laundry on a sunny day, but without doing the laundry\u003cbr\u003e\n• Comfort Spice: brown sugar, cinnamon, and pralines—like a hug in candle form (minus the awkward arm pat)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Cinnamon \u0026amp; Vanilla: warm cinnamon and creamy vanilla—sweet, cozy, and smells like something’s baking (even if it’s not)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Eucalyptus Lavender: eucalyptus and lavender with an earthy twist—because you deserve a spa day at home\u003cbr\u003e\n• Fresh Balsam: balsam, eucalyptus, and fir—like a brisk walk in the woods without the bug spray\u003cbr\u003e\n• Honeysuckle: floral, bright, and just the right amount of fancy—honeysuckle, jasmine \u0026amp; a sandalwood finish\u003cbr\u003e\n• Pink Grapefruit: zesty, tart, and a little sassy—like grapefruit, but without the bitter aftertaste\u003cbr\u003e\n• Sea Breeze: citrus, lavender, and cedarwood—basically, your personal ocean breeze, minus the seagulls\u003cbr\u003e\n• Sea Salt \u0026amp; Orchid: sea salt, freesia, and a warm amber finish—clean, airy, and giving “I have my life together” energy\u003cbr\u003e\n• Spiced Pumpkin Ginger: pumpkin, ginger \u0026amp; fall spices—because your candle should smell as good as your sweater looks\u003cbr\u003e\n• Unscented: for when your presence is the only thing that needs to make a statement—no scent, just sass and flame\u003cbr\u003e\n• Vanilla Bean: rich vanilla with a side of tonka bean \u0026amp; whipped cocoa—sweet, smooth, and a little extra\u003cbr\u003e\n• White Sage \u0026amp; Lavender: lavender, sage, and soft woods—clean, calming, and just a little bit spiritually superior\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💡 Candle Care\u003cbr\u003e\n• First burn: let melt reach full edge to prevent tunneling\u003cbr\u003e\n• Trim wick to ¼” before each use\u003cbr\u003e\n• Don’t burn for more than 4 hours at a time\u003cbr\u003e\n• Always burn on a stable, heat-safe surface\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📦 Shipping + Shop Policy\u003cbr\u003e\n• Ships next business day\u003cbr\u003e\n• Packaged in recyclable, gift-ready materials\u003cbr\u003e\n• No returns or exchanges, but damaged items will be replaced\u003cbr\u003e\n• Shipping to US ONLY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThanks for choosing to shop with us! We hope you love our stuff as much as we do. Share the love on social media and tag us for a chance of free giveaways. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThank you for shopping with us and be sure to check out our full range of candles in our shop: https:\/\/www.etsy.com\/shop\/TheWhimsicalWicksCo\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you have any questions, please let us know. We'd love to hear from you.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"TheWhimsicalWicksCo","offers":[{"title":"Comfort Spice \/ 4 Fluid Ounces","offer_id":46835499729085,"sku":"WW576-CS-5-BG-W4OZ","price":13.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Comfort Spice \/ 9 Fluid Ounces","offer_id":46835499761853,"sku":"WW576-CS-3-BG-W23","price":16.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Comfort Spice \/ 13.75 Fluid Ounces","offer_id":46835499794621,"sku":"WW576-CS-1","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Eucalyptus Lavender \/ 4 Fluid Ounces","offer_id":46835499827389,"sku":"WW576-EL-5-BG-W4OZ","price":13.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Eucalyptus Lavender \/ 9 Fluid Ounces","offer_id":46835499860157,"sku":"WW576-EL-3-BG-W23","price":16.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Eucalyptus Lavender \/ 13.75 Fluid 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