Housewarming Gift, Scented Home Decor, Unique Gift For Her, Gifts Under 30, Best Home Gift For Him, Home Fragrance, Sarcastic Holiday Gift
$14.95
🕯️ Smells Like Get That Fucking Mistletoe Away From Me
Not everyone’s feeling the holiday romance—some of us just want eggnog without the awkward advances. This candle says what you’re really thinking, making it the perfect sassy sidekick for Christmas parties, holiday dinners, or cozy nights away from the mistletoe.
Choose from 9 signature scents (yes, including “unscented”) and let your candle do the talking.
🕯️ Scent Options
- Vanilla Bean: rich vanilla with a side of tonka bean & whipped cocoa—sweet, smooth, and a little extra
• Comfort Spice: brown sugar, cinnamon, and pralines—like a hug in candle form (minus the awkward arm pat)
• Sea Breeze: citrus, lavender, and cedarwood—basically, your personal ocean breeze, minus the seagulls
• Honeysuckle: floral, bright, and just the right amount of fancy—honeysuckle, jasmine & a sandalwood finish
• Eucalyptus Lavender: eucalyptus and lavender with an earthy twist—because you deserve a spa day at home
• Fresh Balsam: balsam, eucalyptus, and fir—like a brisk walk in the woods without the bug spray
• Pink Grapefruit: zesty, tart, and a little sassy—like grapefruit, but without the bitter aftertaste
• Spiced Pumpkin Ginger: pumpkin, ginger & fall spices—because your candle should smell as good as your sweater looks
• Unscented: for when your presence is the only thing that needs to make a statement—no scent, just sass and flame
🧼 Product Specs
• Sizes:
– 4 oz (25–30 hour burn)
– 9 oz (40–60 hour burn)
– 13.75 oz (60–80 hour burn)
• Containers:
– 4 oz & 9 oz: Amber glass jar with black metal lid
– 13.75 oz: Clear open-top glass jar, no lid—because big vibes need room to breathe
• Wax: 100% natural soy wax
• Wick: Cotton, lead/zinc-free
• Hand-poured in small batches
• Clean burning, phthalate-free fragrance oils
• Vegan and cruelty-free
🎁 Perfect For:
• Sarcastic holiday gifts for friends
• Anti-romance Christmas humor
• White Elephant or gag gift exchanges
• Funny office Secret Santa
• Sassy seasonal home decor
💡 Candle Care
• First burn: let melt reach full edge to prevent tunneling
• Trim wick to ¼” before each use
• Don’t burn for more than 4 hours at a time
• Always burn on a stable, heat-safe surface
📦 Shipping + Shop Policy
• Ships next business day
• Packaged in recyclable, gift-ready materials
• No returns or exchanges, but damaged items will be replaced
• Shipping to US ONLY
- Comfort Spice: brown sugar,
cinnamon, and pralines-like a hug in candle form (minus the awkward arm pat) - Eucalyptus Lavender: eucalyptus
and lavender with an earthy twist-because you deserve a spa day at home - Fresh Balsam: balsam,
eucalyptus, and fir-like a brisk walk in the woods without the bug spray - Honeysuckle: floral, bright, and
just the right amount of fancy-honeysuckle, jasmine & a sandalwood finish - Pink Grapefruit: zesty, tart,
and a little sassy-like grapefruit, but without the bitter aftertaste - Sea Breeze: citrus, lavender,
and cedarwood-basically, your personal ocean breeze, minus the seagulls - Spiced Pumpkin Ginger: pumpkin,
ginger & fall spices-because your candle should smell as good as your
sweater looks - Vanilla Bean: rich vanilla with
a side of tonka bean & whipped cocoa-sweet, smooth, and a little extra - Unscented: for when your presence is the only thing that needs
to make a statement-no scent, just sass and flame
Sizes:
- 4 oz (25–30 hour burn)
- 9 oz (40–60 hour burn)
- 13.75 oz (60–80 hour burn)
Containers:
- 4 oz & 9 oz: Amber glass jar with black metal lid
- 13.75 oz: Clear open-top glass jar, no lid-because big vibes need room to breathe
Specifications:
- 100% natural soy wax
- Cotton, lead/zinc-free wick
- Clean burning, phthalate-free fragrance oils
- Vegan and cruelty-free
- Hand-poured in small batches in New Hampshire
To ensure the best experience and a long-lasting burn, follow these care instructions for your natural soy wax candle:
- Trim the Wick: Before lighting, trim the cotton wick to 1/4 inch to prevent soot and ensure a clean, even burn.
- Burn Time: For the first use, let your soy candle burn until the melted wax reaches the edge of the jar (approximately 3-4 hours). This helps prevent tunneling and creates an even burn.
- Safety First: Always burn your candle within sight and keep it away from children, pets, and anything flammable.
- Avoid Drafts: Place your candle in a draft-free area to prevent uneven burning and excessive flickering.
- Extinguish Properly: Use a candle snuffer or gently blow out the flame. Avoid using the lid to extinguish the candle as it can cause soot build-up.
- Recenter the Wick: After extinguishing the flame, ensure the wick is centered and upright for the next burn.
- Burn Time Limit: Do not burn your candle for more than 4 hours at a time. Allow the candle to cool for at least 2 hours before relighting.
- Reuse the Jar: Once your candle is finished, clean out the jar and repurpose it for storage or decor. Our amber glass jars are perfect for upcycling!