Light Me When Bitcoin Breaks Your Heart Again – Funny Crypto Candle – Web3 Gag Gift – HODL Humor – Custom Gift for Crypto Nerds
$14.95
🕯️ Light Me When Bitcoin Breaks Your Heart Again
You swore you were done. You said you'd never check the charts again. And yet here you are—lighting a candle and whispering sweet nothings to Satoshi. This one's for every HODLer whose portfolio needs therapy and a hug. Perfect for crypto bros, NFT collectors, or anyone living on blockchain-based false hope.
Choose from 9 signature scents (yes, including “unscented”) and light one up for your financial heartbreak.
🕯️ Scent Options
- Vanilla Bean: rich vanilla with a side of tonka bean & whipped cocoa—sweet, smooth, and a little extra
• Comfort Spice: brown sugar, cinnamon, and pralines—like a hug in candle form (minus the awkward arm pat)
• Sea Breeze: citrus, lavender, and cedarwood—basically, your personal ocean breeze, minus the seagulls
• Honeysuckle: floral, bright, and just the right amount of fancy—honeysuckle, jasmine & a sandalwood finish
• Eucalyptus Lavender: eucalyptus and lavender with an earthy twist—because you deserve a spa day at home
• Fresh Balsam: balsam, eucalyptus, and fir—like a brisk walk in the woods without the bug spray
• Pink Grapefruit: zesty, tart, and a little sassy—like grapefruit, but without the bitter aftertaste
• Spiced Pumpkin Ginger: pumpkin, ginger & fall spices—because your candle should smell as good as your sweater looks
• Unscented: for when your presence is the only thing that needs to make a statement—no scent, just sass and flame
🧼 Product Specs
• Sizes:
– 4 oz (25–30 hour burn)
– 9 oz (40–60 hour burn)
– 13.75 oz (60–80 hour burn)
• Containers:
– 4 oz & 9 oz: Amber glass jar with black metal lid
– 13.75 oz: Clear open-top glass jar, no lid—because big vibes need room to breathe
• Wax: 100% natural soy wax
• Wick: Cotton, lead/zinc-free
• Hand-poured in small batches
• Clean burning, phthalate-free fragrance oils
• Vegan and cruelty-free
🎁 Perfect For:
• Confidence-boosting gifts
• Funny gifts for her, best friends, or coworkers
• Glow-up or self-love rituals
• Housewarming with a wink
• Empowerment home decor
💡 Candle Care
• First burn: let melt reach full edge to prevent tunneling
• Trim wick to ¼” before each use
• Don’t burn for more than 4 hours at a time
• Always burn on a stable, heat-safe surface
📦 Shipping + Shop Policy
• Ships next business day
• Packaged in recyclable, gift-ready materials
• No returns or exchanges, but damaged items will be replaced
• Shipping to US ONLY
- Comfort Spice: brown sugar,
cinnamon, and pralines-like a hug in candle form (minus the awkward arm pat) - Eucalyptus Lavender: eucalyptus
and lavender with an earthy twist-because you deserve a spa day at home - Fresh Balsam: balsam,
eucalyptus, and fir-like a brisk walk in the woods without the bug spray - Honeysuckle: floral, bright, and
just the right amount of fancy-honeysuckle, jasmine & a sandalwood finish - Pink Grapefruit: zesty, tart,
and a little sassy-like grapefruit, but without the bitter aftertaste - Sea Breeze: citrus, lavender,
and cedarwood-basically, your personal ocean breeze, minus the seagulls - Spiced Pumpkin Ginger: pumpkin,
ginger & fall spices-because your candle should smell as good as your
sweater looks - Vanilla Bean: rich vanilla with
a side of tonka bean & whipped cocoa-sweet, smooth, and a little extra - Unscented: for when your presence is the only thing that needs
to make a statement-no scent, just sass and flame
Sizes:
- 4 oz (25–30 hour burn)
- 9 oz (40–60 hour burn)
- 13.75 oz (60–80 hour burn)
Containers:
- 4 oz & 9 oz: Amber glass jar with black metal lid
- 13.75 oz: Clear open-top glass jar, no lid-because big vibes need room to breathe
Specifications:
- 100% natural soy wax
- Cotton, lead/zinc-free wick
- Clean burning, phthalate-free fragrance oils
- Vegan and cruelty-free
- Hand-poured in small batches in New Hampshire
To ensure the best experience and a long-lasting burn, follow these care instructions for your natural soy wax candle:
- Trim the Wick: Before lighting, trim the cotton wick to 1/4 inch to prevent soot and ensure a clean, even burn.
- Burn Time: For the first use, let your soy candle burn until the melted wax reaches the edge of the jar (approximately 3-4 hours). This helps prevent tunneling and creates an even burn.
- Safety First: Always burn your candle within sight and keep it away from children, pets, and anything flammable.
- Avoid Drafts: Place your candle in a draft-free area to prevent uneven burning and excessive flickering.
- Extinguish Properly: Use a candle snuffer or gently blow out the flame. Avoid using the lid to extinguish the candle as it can cause soot build-up.
- Recenter the Wick: After extinguishing the flame, ensure the wick is centered and upright for the next burn.
- Burn Time Limit: Do not burn your candle for more than 4 hours at a time. Allow the candle to cool for at least 2 hours before relighting.
- Reuse the Jar: Once your candle is finished, clean out the jar and repurpose it for storage or decor. Our amber glass jars are perfect for upcycling!