Cocaine and Hookers Candle | Inappropriate Gag Gift

For your friend who treats life like a reality show and makes questionable decisions look like an art form. This candle says what everyone's thinking but too polite to say out loud. Hand-poured in New Hampshire with 100% natural soy wax.

• Comfort Spice - Brown sugar, cinnamon stick, and pralines. A hug in candle form, minus the awkward arm pat.
  
• Eucalyptus Lavender Herb - Eucalyptus, lavender, and earthy woods. Spa day for emotionally damaged adults.
  
• Fresh Balsam - Balsam, crisp eucalyptus, fir, and cedarwood. Christmas in a jar, unsupervised.
  
• Honeysuckle - Bergamot, honeysuckle, jasmine, sandalwood. Florals, but make it feral.
  
• Pink Grapefruit - Grapefruit zest, citrus blossom, soft musk. Tart, blushing, and impossible to ignore.
  
• Sea Breeze - Citrus, lavender, jasmine, cedarwood, oakmoss. Your personal ocean breeze, minus the seagulls.
  
• Spiced Pumpkin Ginger - Pumpkin, fresh ginger, warm spices, sugared vanilla. Pumpkin with a backbone.
  
• Vanilla Bean - Rich vanilla bean, tonka, whipped cocoa. Sweet, smooth, and a little extra.
  
• Unscented - No scent, just a flame and zero opinions. For when your presence is the only thing that needs to make a statement.
  
  NEW - 9 oz only:
  
• Sea Salt & Orchid - Orange, sea salt, freesia, tonka bean, musk. The kind of vacation where someone catches feelings.
  
• Clean Cotton - Lemon, cotton blossom, linen, sandalwood, violet. Line-dried laundry in a tasteful indie film.
  
• Apple Harvest - Apple, cinnamon, nutmeg, clove, vanilla. Fall — but somebody's getting laid.
  
• Cinnamon & Vanilla - Cinnamon, clove, cream, vanilla. Holiday baking with someone you shouldn't be baking with.
  
• White Sage & Lavender - Lavender, sage, chamomile, rosemary, cedar, sandalwood. Spiritual without the smug.
  

For the full notes on every scent, visit the Scents page.

Sizes: 

• 4 oz (25–30 hour burn) 
• 9 oz (40–60 hour burn) 
• 13.75 oz (60–80 hour burn)

Containers: 

• 4 oz & 9 oz: Amber glass jar with black metal lid 
• 13.75 oz: Clear open-top glass jar, no lid-because big vibes need room to breathe

Specifications:

• 100% natural soy wax
• Cotton, lead/zinc-free wick
• Clean burning, phthalate-free fragrance oils
• Vegan and cruelty-free
• Hand-poured in small batches in New Hampshire

To ensure the best experience and a long-lasting burn, follow these care instructions for your natural soy wax candle:

• Trim the Wick: Before lighting, trim the cotton wick to 1/4 inch to prevent soot and ensure a clean, even burn.
• Burn Time: For the first use, let your soy candle burn until the melted wax reaches the edge of the jar (approximately 3-4 hours). This helps prevent tunneling and creates an even burn.
• Safety First: Always burn your candle within sight and keep it away from children, pets, and anything flammable.
• Avoid Drafts: Place your candle in a draft-free area to prevent uneven burning and excessive flickering.
• Extinguish Properly: Use a candle snuffer or gently blow out the flame. Avoid using the lid to extinguish the candle as it can cause soot build-up.
• Recenter the Wick: After extinguishing the flame, ensure the wick is centered and upright for the next burn.
• Burn Time Limit: Do not burn your candle for more than 4 hours at a time. Allow the candle to cool for at least 2 hours before relighting.
• Reuse the Jar: Once your candle is finished, clean out the jar and repurpose it for storage or decor. Our amber glass jars are perfect for upcycling!

Unused, unopened candles can be returned within 14 days of delivery - just email hello@whimsicalwicksco.com with your order number and we'll send you return instructions.

For lit candles you didn't vibe with: reach out anyway. We'll figure something out.

Personalized and custom candles are non-returnable unless they arrive damaged, wrong, or misprinted. Anything that's our fault, we'll make right. Promise.

Arrived broken or sad? Email us a photo with your order number within 2 days of delivery and we'll replace it on the house.