EMPTY DOM REMOVE PROTECTOR
EMPTY DOM REMOVE PROTECTOR

You Just Have To Take It One Are You F*cking Kidding Me

Sale price $16.99 Regular price $22.65

101 reviews
EMPTY DOM REMOVE PROTECTOR
EMPTY DOM REMOVE PROTECTOR
Description

For anyone drowning in life's endless to-do list who needs a reality check with their zen moment. Because sometimes "one step at a time" feels like complete bullsh*t, but you're gonna do it anyway. Hand-poured in New Hampshire with 100% natural soy wax.

Scents
  • Comfort Spice - Brown sugar, cinnamon stick, and pralines. A hug in candle form, minus the awkward arm pat.
  • Eucalyptus Lavender Herb - Eucalyptus, lavender, and earthy woods. Spa day for emotionally damaged adults.
  • Fresh Balsam - Balsam, crisp eucalyptus, fir, and cedarwood. Christmas in a jar, unsupervised.
  • Honeysuckle - Bergamot, honeysuckle, jasmine, sandalwood. Florals, but make it feral.
  • Pink Grapefruit - Grapefruit zest, citrus blossom, soft musk. Tart, blushing, and impossible to ignore.
  • Sea Breeze - Citrus, lavender, jasmine, cedarwood, oakmoss. Your personal ocean breeze, minus the seagulls.
  • Spiced Pumpkin Ginger - Pumpkin, fresh ginger, warm spices, sugared vanilla. Pumpkin with a backbone.
  • Vanilla Bean - Rich vanilla bean, tonka, whipped cocoa. Sweet, smooth, and a little extra.
  • Unscented - No scent, just a flame and zero opinions. For when your presence is the only thing that needs to make a statement.

    NEW - 9 oz only:
  • Sea Salt & Orchid - Orange, sea salt, freesia, tonka bean, musk. The kind of vacation where someone catches feelings.
  • Clean Cotton - Lemon, cotton blossom, linen, sandalwood, violet. Line-dried laundry in a tasteful indie film.
  • Apple Harvest - Apple, cinnamon, nutmeg, clove, vanilla. Fall — but somebody's getting laid.
  • Cinnamon & Vanilla - Cinnamon, clove, cream, vanilla. Holiday baking with someone you shouldn't be baking with.
  • White Sage & Lavender - Lavender, sage, chamomile, rosemary, cedar, sandalwood. Spiritual without the smug.

For the full notes on every scent, visit the Scents page.

Specifications

Sizes: 

  • 4 oz (25–30 hour burn) 
  • 9 oz (40–60 hour burn) 
  • 13.75 oz (60–80 hour burn)

Containers: 

  • 4 oz & 9 oz: Amber glass jar with black metal lid 
  • 13.75 oz: Clear open-top glass jar, no lid-because big vibes need room to breathe

Specifications:

  • 100% natural soy wax
  • Cotton, lead/zinc-free wick
  • Clean burning, phthalate-free fragrance oils
  • Vegan and cruelty-free
  • Hand-poured in small batches in New Hampshire
How To Burn It Right

To ensure the best experience and a long-lasting burn, follow these care instructions for your natural soy wax candle:

  • Trim the Wick: Before lighting, trim the cotton wick to 1/4 inch to prevent soot and ensure a clean, even burn.
  • Burn Time: For the first use, let your soy candle burn until the melted wax reaches the edge of the jar (approximately 3-4 hours). This helps prevent tunneling and creates an even burn.
  • Safety First: Always burn your candle within sight and keep it away from children, pets, and anything flammable.
  • Avoid Drafts: Place your candle in a draft-free area to prevent uneven burning and excessive flickering.
  • Extinguish Properly: Use a candle snuffer or gently blow out the flame. Avoid using the lid to extinguish the candle as it can cause soot build-up.
  • Recenter the Wick: After extinguishing the flame, ensure the wick is centered and upright for the next burn.
  • Burn Time Limit: Do not burn your candle for more than 4 hours at a time. Allow the candle to cool for at least 2 hours before relighting.
  • Reuse the Jar: Once your candle is finished, clean out the jar and repurpose it for storage or decor. Our amber glass jars are perfect for upcycling!
Shipping & Returns

Unused, unopened candles can be returned within 14 days of delivery - just email hello@whimsicalwicksco.com with your order number and we'll send you return instructions.

For lit candles you didn't vibe with: reach out anyway. We'll figure something out.

Personalized and custom candles are non-returnable unless they arrive damaged, wrong, or misprinted. Anything that's our fault, we'll make right. Promise.

Arrived broken or sad? Email us a photo with your order number within 2 days of delivery and we'll replace it on the house.

Humorous scented candle praised for its quality, fragrance variety, and appeal as a gift. Customers said it "smells amazing" with scents like vanilla bean, eucalyptus lavender, and sea breeze. Fast shipping and secure packaging noted. One shopper found sizing smaller than expected; another felt scent wasn't their preference. Overwhelmingly positive for gifting.

  • This candle smells amazing and the label makes me smile every time I look at it!!
  • The amber jar is nice and thick, the scent is dreamy and strong, the print clear and uniform.
  • Should have bought an extra for myself! Great gift and very happy with the vanilla bean scent.
Quality (positive)Candle (positive)Scent (positive)Packaging (positive)Shipping (positive)
A
Adilene

I bought this as a gift. It arrived super quick and it was what I was expecting. Smells great! My friend is going to love it!

E
Etsy customer

This is a perfect gift for ‘sweary’ friends jaded by the world. The amber jar is nice and thick, the scent is dreamy and strong, the print clear and uniform. I cannot state how it burns as it is a gift. I was SUPER impressed by the fast processing and shipping times. I received the candle, well-packaged, within a few days of ordering across multiple states. Will be buying more from this shop in the future, this time for myself.

E
Etsy customer

This is the perfect gift for ‘sweary’ friends who have a jaded outlook on life. The amber jar is nice and thick, the print on the outside clear and uniform, the fragrance is strong and very pleasant. I cannot state how it burns as it is a gift for someone else. I was SUPER impressed with very fast processing and shipping. Received within a few days across multiple states. Will definitely buy more from this shop, this time for myself.

C
Cindy

These make great gift items for Christmas!

K
Kim Hughes

Great gift and shipped fast!

P
Paula Schmoll

Very nice scent and packaging.

P
Paula Schmoll

The package was nicely done.

P
Paula Schmoll

Nicely packaged, and the scent was devine.

K
Kathleen Kindinger

Great gift to cheer another up!

J
Jessica Moore

great gift! smells great and love the design.

R
Rachel Wahlert

Arrived without any issues. The inscription is so funny. Great white elephant gift.

N
Netha Luce

Yes yes yes yes yes

J
Jenna May

Quick shipping, looks as pictured

J
James Colter

Good quality item. Arrived well packaged and I love the smell

S
Stacie Mason

Bought one for a gift. Should have bought an extra for myself! Great gift and very happy with the vanilla bean scent. Thank you!

E
Etsy customer

You Just Have To Take It One Are You F*cking Kidding Me

k
kieara jones

Smells great and looks exactly like in the pictures!

K
Kelly Popovic

Quality and description were spot on! Awesome gift! Thank you! I will be back for more!

S
Stacey

I can't unwrap to take a pic but it is awesome and my bestie will love it for her birthday.

J
Jessica Egan

Such a funny gift - well made and arrived on time. Thanks!

J
Janet Brooks

Perfect gift for a good friend. Sea breeze scent for someone who lives on the beach was perfect

J
Julia Herman

Love the candles. Would buy again.

R
Riley Baker

Exactly as pictured, the Eucalyptus Lavender smell is more more herb and Eucalyptus forward than Lavender but it still smells great.

A
Alana

Perfect scent, hilarious gift for Mother’s Day

M
Mackenzie

Really cute she loved it

E
Etsy customer

My friend LOVED IT! THANK YOU!

b
beth koenig

Great candles and great sayings. Will
purchasing from this company again.

E
Etsy customer

My sister loved this. So funny

J
Jodi Trovato

Absolutely love my candle! Will be back

b
beth koenig

Love it. Plan on ordering more candles.

A
Abigail

This candle smells amazing and the label makes me smile every time I look at it!!

K
Kayleigh

Exactly as described on site!

FAQ

Our Candles

What are your candles made of?

Natural soy wax, cotton wicks, US-sourced fragrance oils loaded at 6%. No phthalates, no parabens, no weird mystery ingredients. Just clean stuff that burns clean.

How long do they burn?
  • 4 oz: ~25 hours.
  • 9 oz: ~55 hours.
  • 13.75 oz: ~85 hours.

Your mileage may vary depending on whether you're a “burn it for 30 min” type or a “leave it on all weekend” type.

How strong is the scent?

Strong enough to be noticed, not strong enough to give your aunt a migraine. We load at 6% - balanced throw, not perfume-aisle-at-the-mall throw.

Are they safe?

Yes, if you don't do anything stupid. Keep them on a stable surface. Trim the wick to 1/4 inch before lighting. Don't leave a burning candle unattended. Don't try to drink the wax. Don't let the cat near the flame. You know the drill.

How do I get the most out of my candle?

First burn: let the wax pool to the edge of the jar (usually 2–4 hours). This sets the “memory” so your candle burns evenly forever. Trim the wick to 1/4 inch before each burn. Don't burn for more than 4 hours at a time.

Shipping & Orders

How long does shipping take?

Orders ship within 1–3 business days from our New Hampshire workshop. US transit is usually 3–7 business days depending on where you are.

Do you ship internationally?

Currently US only. International shipping for candles is a whole thing — we're working on it. Email us if you want to be notified when it opens up.

Can I track my order?

Yes. Tracking info gets emailed the moment your label prints. Check spam if it's not in your inbox — our emails sometimes end up there.

My candle arrived broken / wrong / sad. What do I do?

Email hello@whimsicalwicksco.com with photos and your order number. We'll make it right. Promise.

Can I return it?

We accept returns on unused, unopened candles within 14 days of delivery. For full details check our Refund Policy page. If something arrived damaged or wrong contact us within 48 hours and we'll make it right immediately - no questions asked.

Everything Else

Will my house smell like candle for days?

If you burn it long enough, yes. That's kind of the point.

What's the difference between 4 oz, 9 oz, and 13.75 oz?

Burn time, price, and a little bit of personality.

  • The 4oz is your amber glass jar with black lid - the "I want to test this scent before committing" size, burning 25–30 hours.
  • The 9oz is also an amber glass jar with black lid - the "this is my new everyday candle" size, burning 40–60 hours.
  • The 13.75oz is a tall clear glass jar with no lid - the "I made it and I deserve this" size, burning 60–80 hours.

All three are hand-poured in New Hampshire with 100% natural soy wax.

Do you have a loyalty program?

Yes - Whimsical Points. Earn points on every order, redeem for discounts. Smart shoppers stack up fast.

Where do you source your scents?

All US suppliers, all loaded at 6% for a balanced throw. Check out Our Scents for the full lineup with notes and descriptions.

Can I light multiple candles at once?

Knock yourself out. Just don't light them so close that the heat melts each other's wax. Olfactory chaos is fine; structural damage is not.